day One

OK so Hello all, I have decided to write my self out and using this method I will hope to reach my true potential as cosmic force and find my true self as I do really feel lost at times.
I have no idea how to start and what to look at first. Should I start from day one or from today to day one going backwards and seeing how much I really actually remember from everyday so far. I will say this though, I do feel a bit awkward and excited doing this writing, one reason is i hate writing and i am not a good English grammar person, and the other reason is just excitement caused by the knowledge that I havent done this format of realisation ever before in my current life. There I am being distracted by the other internet windows opened (Face Book,YouTube,Skype). I know and I see what I have to change in my character and i spot my life patterns easily, but I have never before tried to change them for the better. And I think I dont understand your idea completely. Should I try and deconstruct my self completely and then rebuild only the parts i need and that are helping about creating a better world for all??? Or i should just do a self forgiveness scan of my systems and delete memories, fears, pains, doubts things like that (as i go and write every day)? So far for this single post I do see where I need to apply the tool of self forgiveness so I will now start to do so.


I forgive my self, that I have accepted and allowed my self to have felt guilty and embarassed only even by the thought to have been doing self forgiveness before.


I forgive my self, that I have accepted and allowed my self to have been letting my self to be led to inner hatred and confusion of thoughts caused by the constant distractions caused by different objects and people around me. I know that it is me who is actually letting them happen and i can stop my self in believing that they are there and making me feel nervous and tense.


I forgive my self, that I have accepted and allowed my self to have let inner pain enter my mind and thoughts during my creation processes and fear to manifest within my soul and being. 


I forgive my self, that I have accepted and allowed my self to ever doubt in my own potential, in my own words, in my own creation process as a human being, and as an artistic creator.


I forgive my self, that I have accepted and allowed my self to have been weak and selfish yesterday when I went out with my brother and a friend of ours, and when my friend was working out i felt like i wanted to have his stronger body which he has gained trough out 5 year period with hard work and consistency.